Pepe and Chico are shopping at Rags to Riches, a secondhand store that sells used wardrobe from Film & Television productions. “There’s an old joke,” starts Pepe. “Two Chicanos are shopping at a secondhand store and one of them says ‘Everything in here smells like asparagus piss.’ And the other …
Texas was dead: to begin with… at least for Jerry. “As soon as I turn eighteen, I’m outta this shit bowl!” He didn’t actually move until he was nineteen because it always took him a year to follow through on something, but he did get the hell outta Dodge like …
Mano a mano means “hand to hand” in Spanish, as in hand-to-hand combat, but this loan term doesn’t just describe two people going toe-to-toe because they can’t see eye-to-eye. Most of the time, it’s any head-to-head, wire-to-wire competition. “They went mano a mano in a foot race!” Sometimes gabachos say …
Life in the big city is a fickle pickle. Too many variables make it the volatile vegetable (or flickery fruit) that it is and nothing is more unpredictable than the inconsistent night life experience: Friday night: I didn’t holla at any rucas at the club tonight because none of ’em …
My roommate Gustavo went by the nickname Goose, and could’ve easily gone by Wild Goose because of his hell-raising nature. When he wasn’t talking shit he was starting shit, and always with the cojones to back it up. Kind of like his Pit Bull Chorizo: lots of bark and lots …
While planning the arrangements, I told the funeral director that, at some point during my grandfather’s funeral, I wanted to get up and say a few words. “How many words?” he snapped. “Just a few.” “A few is like five. So five?” “More than five.” “So several words? “Yes.” “Several …
SAYERS/PLAYERS: Jojo Mojo – cool fool, mellow fellow Rosa Sosa – sexy Mexi Big Wig – fat cat Suzy Floozy – dirty-birdy Greasy CeCe – bag-hag Nay-Nay – pro ho’ Deez Freese – hooker booker Lulu Ulu – po-po NOHO – JUNE – NOON Jojo Mojo, Rosa Sosa, street-greet. JM: …
John Doe was your typical Joe six-pack American; an average Joe with a Joe Schmo job and a Joe Blow life. When he first started dating his plain-Jane girlfriend Jane Doe, she was full of Joy, but after a year of living together, she became a Debbie downer, a negative …
My older brother ‘Melo was a cabroncito growing up. That means he was a handful. He’s still a travieso as an adult but fortunately my folks don’t have to deal with him anymore. Any discipline is now carried out by law enforcement and the judicial system, but that’s only if …
Carson Montgomery stood proudly at the bar of his man cave and filled two large mugs with ice cold beer from his recently-installed kegerator. He handed one to his neighbor Carlos and raised the other in a toast. “Welcome to the Montgomery man cave.” “¡Salud!” said Carlos as they clinked …
