I rubbed one out the other day; a genie, that is, from an old oil lamp I bought at a garage sale in Pacoima for two dollars and fifty cents. I didn’t know it was a magic lamp when I made the purchase, or that is one of those down-economy …
If I told you my name you’d call me Rafa; if I told you who I was, you’d call me crazy. But that’s okay. I have a hard time believing it myself sometimes－that I was that man that was featured in that news story about that crazy incident that happened …
It doesn’t always have to be out in the open. Sometimes I can just sense it. If a person calls me a “beaner” or a “wetback” to my face, it takes the guesswork out of it, but there are times when a racist doesn’t have to be an outright racist—I can just sense it; …
We were somewhere around Zzyzx Road when the drugs kicked in. I remember my girl Luna saying something like, “Why is there mustard and mayonnaise smeared all over the goddamn highway?!” “You mean the white and yellow lines?” “Yeah!” “Those are road surface markings.” “Oh.” That’s Luna all over—she’s a …
Dear John, My parents always tell me I watched too much American television growing up, and that now I’m Lost and Clueless about The Real World because of it. Whatever, My Two Dads! Here’s The Facts of Life, it’s been 48 Hours since I left the House because I was …
Once upon a midnight screening, I kept shifting forth and leaning Over many a cramp and furious teeming at my bowel’s core; Stomach knotted, kinda snappin’, as if #2 might happen Would my person soon be crappin’? Crappin’ out my anal door? “‘Tis only vapors,” I muttered, “nothing in the …
It was early in my career as a puta-for-hire that I first learned the cardinal rule of the flesh trade: always get the money up front; but persuading every John, trick, and hairy customer to follow that policy is not without its challenges. Most of these whoremongers are already self-conscious …
I could tell on the ride over that my prom date was eager to get to the dance. She kept asking the driver, “How much longer? Are we almost there?” There was an annoyed look on her face when I nudged her and calmly pointed to the DO NOT TALK …
