Short Stories
My roommate Gustavo went by the nickname Goose, and could’ve easily gone by Wild Goose because of his hell-raising nature. When he wasn’t talking shit he was starting shit, and always with the cojones to back it up. Kind of like his Pit Bull Chorizo: lots of bark and lots …
While planning the arrangements, I told the funeral director that, at some point during my grandfather’s funeral, I wanted to get up and say a few words. “How many words?” he snapped. “Just a few.” “A few is like five. So five?” “More than five.” “So several words? “Yes.” “Several …
John Doe was your typical Joe six-pack American; an average Joe with a Joe Schmo job and a Joe Blow life. When he first started dating his plain-Jane girlfriend Jane Doe, she was full of Joy, but after a year of living together, she became a Debbie downer, a negative …
In high school, you’re trying to get into the cool social clubs. In your 20’s and 30’s, you’re trying to get into the cool nightclubs. In your 40’s and beyond, you’re trying to get into a nice health club, or the fancy country club before you realize you’re still the …
My older brother ‘Melo was a cabroncito growing up. That means he was a handful. He’s still a travieso as an adult but fortunately my folks don’t have to deal with him anymore. Any discipline is now carried out by law enforcement and the judicial system, but that’s only if …
The Great Spittlebug Infestation of Oh-Eight was both a blessing and a curse for the spider colony at Silky Meadows. The same all-you-can-eat froghopper sandwiches that had fattened their little bellies had also emaciated their little hearts and souls. There was no more drive in their spirit, no more killer …
I rubbed one out the other day; a genie, that is, from an old oil lamp I bought at a garage sale in Pacoima for two dollars and fifty cents. I didn’t know it was a magic lamp when I made the purchase, or that is one of those down-economy …
Carson Montgomery stood proudly at the bar of his man cave and filled two large mugs with ice cold beer from his recently-installed kegerator. He handed one to his neighbor Carlos and raised the other in a toast. “Welcome to the Montgomery man cave.” “¡Salud!” said Carlos as they clinked …
Sanchez. Lopez. Valdez. Many Spanish family names are affixed with the -ez ending. Gutierrez. Resendez. Marquez. And many traditional family names include paternal and maternal surnames, so sometimes you get a hyphenated twofer known as a “double-barreled surname”: Alvarez-Perez. They might even rhyme on occasion: Hernandez-Fernandez. Yañez-Ibañez. Vazquez-Velazquez. Like the …
My wife and I got married in Costa Rica near Bahila Ballena, along the southern coast of the Nicoya Peninsula. We took a commercial airliner from Los Angeles to the capital city of San José, and then caught a twin engine, turbo prop airplane to a tiny airport in the …
